sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
