i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
