Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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