Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
