thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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