Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So here I am, sexting at work.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
