Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
