Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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