I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
