Betty ford says i'm here all night
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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