is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
my liver is dry heaving
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
