dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize