I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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