based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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