My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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