After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
