I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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