dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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