he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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