How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
