I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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