I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
