yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
