Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
