Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize