so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
