after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
