Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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