She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
