i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
