none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
