Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
