I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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