i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
where are you?
Hypothermia
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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