where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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