Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
