im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
