see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
