So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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