I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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