I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
