think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
