remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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