My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
