Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
