Absence makes the cock grow harder.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
