Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
