somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
