sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
