Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
