Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My pussy is not your playground.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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