how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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