I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
