Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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