If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
