what is it with giant penises always finding me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
