I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
