I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
