My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
