shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
