i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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