Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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