D3 body, D1 cock
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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