I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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