either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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