i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
