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gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
