elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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