remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
