I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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