I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize