How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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