walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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