Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
